There have been experiences and relationships in my life that have been uncomfortable or unpleasant – or both.
Going through them is not at all enjoyable, and can sometimes feel even downright torturous.
However, when I am able to look back on those experiences with some distance and objectivity, I often find that I have learned something important, acquired or honed a skill, or have grown as a professional.
It is hard to think about embracing adversity, especially when in the middle of it, but with the experience solidly in the rearview mirror, it is possible to intentionally look for the lesson that comes from that adverse experience in order to benefit from it.
Questions to ask yourself:
What did I learn about myself?
What strengths did I develop or discover?
What areas for development can I identify so that doesn’t happen again?
What skills did I strengthen or what knowledge did I gain?
What opportunities for growth and advancement did the experience bring?
What will I not do again?
What will I definitely do again?!?
It can be even more beneficial to identify potential growth opportunities when in the middle of an unpleasant or uncomfortable situation. This isn’t always possible, but sometimes it is. When my “spidey senses” tell me that I may be experiencing a growth opportunity, I empower myself. I slow down my response-thinking and breathe, and then do a quick diagnosis of:
Diagnostic Questions :
What might be really going on under the surface?
What am I feeling about the situation?
What are the potential threats?
What are the potential opportunities?
What is the cost/benefit of trying something new to create an opportunity?
What skills or knowledge might I need to use?
Where do I need to stretch my skills or knowledge?
Can the situation be resolved in a positive way?
How can I do that?
Next time you encounter a gift that doesn’t feel like a gift, consider whether any of my questions can help you learn and grow from the situation – whether in the midst of it, or when you think back on it. Only ponder the questions that feel most relevant to you and the situation, and perhaps you can give yourself a gift that actually feels like a gift.